5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That We Can’t Excuse
A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. From the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name grounds a lady might opt to be having a chubby or fat man.”
The contestants’ answers end up supplying a humorous round in the minds regarding the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister did share that is n’t video clip on her behalf Facebook web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It absolutely was just the opposite: my sibling ended up being furious at the round’s subject as well as the responses offered. My cousin composed:
“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become beautiful, to be desired, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is never OKAY!”
My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat person that is masculine, once you understand i might concur along with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot for the Family Feud game board aided by the six most popular responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a lot colombian wives of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.
Nevertheless, calling away fatphobic urban myths had been clearly perhaps not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and bad for males of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Energy
The misconception: the fact this misconception is probably the most popular associated with the six offered responses — 34 of this 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or perhaps a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it’s in films, politics, or popular tradition.
The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would an individual who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?
This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for a complete great deal of fat males, putting almost all their value as individuals in to the cash or energy they might or might not have.
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The facts: While you will find, needless to say, some individuals whom just look for relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that frequently, individuals will prefer to get by having a fat guy because they really wish to be with him. This misconception is significantly less frequently placed on thin or “fit” guys, unless of program see your face is well known to own cash or energy. However it’s much easier for folks to know two thin or typically appealing individuals being together because they’re interested in one another than when a thin or usually appealing person chooses become with a fat guy for any other less superficial reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Only Like Other Fat Individuals
The misconception: with this particular misconception, we come across how individuals try to simply take people’s that are away fat. It suggests that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.
Slipped into this misconception is a associated fatphobic misconception: that most fat everyone loves to consume a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who want to consume food are fat.
The reality: place clearly, the presumption that fat people will just seek relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — may be and frequently are interested in a wide selection of individuals of all size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will only ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.
And also as for the indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another misconception too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Males Are Ugly
The misconception: All fat guys, based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they might ever have. Such men’s partners would just utilize them to seem more appealing in comparison. This misconception makes the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably take a relationship by having a fat guy because they’re actually interested in him. Fat individuals are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The facts: in the same way many people might pursue a man that is fat cash or energy, many people might just pursue fat guys to look more appealing to other people. In fact, though, this is apparently less common than this answer could have us think.
I’ll keep saying the idea, even though We appear to be a broken record: many individuals really find fat guys appealing!
4. “She’s In Love”
It was really the only truly mocking-free response included in the very best responses regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative of this entrenched fatphobia on display when you look at the remaining portion of the responses. It is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the solution distributed by only nine individuals.
Exactly what are fat males viewing likely to think of their health and their worth as people?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Although Not Sex
The misconception: it is those types of stereotypes that are“positive many of us attempt to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all gay men are stylish and confident.”
Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, not much else in the “positive” side of stereotyping. As proof of this, one of many game show participants offered a response that wound up perhaps not being from the board: that a lady would date a fat guy because he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted as though it was the absolute most crazy solution in the entire world, because of the other participants together with market laughing in contract. In that way, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as sexual beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The reality: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is the fact that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not remain in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who desires to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by society.
Truly the only quality that is redeeming culture enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, rather than also 100% of that time — is they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat males are certainly “warm and cuddly,for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.
Further, exactly just what somebody perceives to be “good” or “bad” at intercourse is normally entirely subjective and located in individual preference. Ridiculing the idea that fat males could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Want To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on their lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have inside their present relationship. Quite simply, they already know that no body else would like to be using them.
The reality: To bluntly put it, it is upright incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.
As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat guys are just like likely as just about any guys to cheat on the lovers. And many more crucially, this misconception posits that fat men are incredibly ugly, no body will give them the opportunity to cheat on the lovers, which, again, can also be inappropriate to assume.
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The Ongoing Challenge of Fatphobia
As with every fables and stereotypes about a small grouping of individuals, these five survey responses on Family Feud reveal the blatant human anatomy terrorism fat guys are afflicted by within our tradition.
Despite exactly what these urban myths could have you think, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to numerous other folks. This truth should be so hard n’t to assume, nevertheless the undeniable fact that it had been addressed as a result for a tv series illustrates so just how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded society.
While you’re watching this episode angered and disturbed me personally, it is a reminder that individuals have considerable work to do to attain any kind of across-the-board amounts of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we manage to make these fables and any perceptions that are negative to them obsoleted modes of idea in place of mostly accepted norms.
Feature image: picture of a person indoors that are sitting. They truly are putting on a t-shirt that is white baseball limit because they stare in to the digital camera with a small grin on their face. They’ve dark epidermis, the lowest fade cut, and a beard.